MCU/Thor Fic
Loki and Thor
Rating: adult? I guess?

for a Tumblr prompt: Brodinsons, "I'll never unsee that."

Summary: The really true story of "the horse event". You know.




Thor should've known better. In hindsight, it was too perfect that the stablehand was lingering outside for no apparent purpose except to tell him where Loki was. He should have sensed the flash of power as he pulled open the main doors that was a warning to someone within. He should certainly never have been curious about the sounds emanating from the corner stall. And he should never have opened the door.

His father's fierce stallion Svaðilfari was atop a new mare that Thor had never seen before. Her coat was a beautiful, perfect glossy black, not a spot of white anywhere. She tossed her head and her long mane, whinnying in what Thor could only term delight as the stallion mounted her.

Then one rolling eye caught sight of Thor in the doorway. The mare exclaimed, in his brother's voice, "Thor?"

Thor stared. His thoughts tumbled, incoherently. Loki. The mare was his brother? Loki had … had shapeshifted into a horse? But… how? Why? And that stallion was … That actual horse was mating him-- no, her?

Then to make it that much worse, Loki exclaimed "oh yes!" in definite sexual gratification, as the stallion bit her on the shoulder and she let out a loud whinny, as with one last powerful thrust the stallion was done.

Thor could not find his voice, underneath the shock. Loki had done a lot of things to be outrageous. He'd shapeshifted into animals. He'd shifted into a female form. He'd had a lot of sex in various ways, often for the apparent sole purpose of shocking his brother. But never all at once.

The stallion got down, nosed at Loki as if in thanks, then wandered to the back of the stall to find water.

"Mmm, that was so good," Loki murmured in pleasure, head hanging as her flanks heaved to catch her breath.

"Loki, what-- I -- You--" Thor could not find his voice or any sense to his tongue, in utter shock. He finally managed to ask, plaintively, "Why?"

There was a snicker, quickly suppressed, then Loki burst into laughter, peals and peals of hilarity.

The laughter wasn't coming from the horse.

Thor turned to see Loki sitting against the wall, his head tipped back and an arm across his stomach as he laughed. "Your face!" he exclaimed breathlessly, and it set him off into new mirth.

Thor looked from Loki to the horse and back. "She's-- she's not you?" he stammered.

There were tears on Loki's cheeks from laughing so hard and he could barely breathe, choking on his first two attempts to speak. "Oh, you are the most precious bumbling idiot in the entire Nine Realms!"

"Loki!" Thor bellowed, angry and confused by the trick Loki had played on him. "Loki, why would you make me think that you--"

"Because it was amusing." Loki pushed himself to his feet and came near as if to pat Thor on the shoulder. Thor shrugged him off, still angry. "Come on, admit it. It was funny."

"It was not! It was appalling!" Thor exclaimed. "I will never unsee that, thinking that the stallion was mating with you! How could you do that to me?"

Loki rolled his eyes. "Oh, stop being so dramatic. It would hardly be the end of the Realms, even if it were true." He stroked the neck of the mare and clucked his tongue at her, smiling with a softer affection that he rarely turned on people, only animals. "She seemed to enjoy it. Maybe I should try it next time…"

He knew Loki was teasing -- at least he hoped so -- but Thor seized his collar and bodily yanked him away from the horse and out of the stall. "No. No, you will not. Or I will inform Father and we'll see exactly what he thinks of your… jest."

Loki curled a lip and flicked a narrowed glance at him. "You spoil all my fun."

"Not all of it." Thor shut the stall door and folded his arms. "But now, yes. We're going to the weapons yard."

Loki groaned. "Must we?"

"You enjoyed yourself at my expense, and it's my turn now." Thor hoped that Loki was having second thoughts about his tasteless prank, but on the way to the yard, Loki made soft horse-like whinnying sounds and chuckled at Thor's expression.

Thor sighed, wondering how his brother had pretended to have sex with a horse, and yet it was Thor who was embarrassed.

Loki nudged him with an elbow. "It was amusing. Admit it."

"Not at all." Thor stayed stern and disapproving until Loki imitated a horse neigh again and Thor's lips turned upward unable to resist. Loki saw and his grin was intensely pleased with himself.

Thor had the satisfaction of watching Loki's smile fade as they walked out into the yard. Thor's smile widened, as he grabbed a pair of staves and tossed one to Loki. "Come, brother. My own amusement awaits."

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From: [personal profile] nubriema


OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!!!!!! *muffled screaming* I saw the AO3 link post you made this morning and read the thing but didn't have time to write a comment because I had to work - I LOVE it! <3<3<3<3

I'm so happy that you did the prompt, you have no idea! I wasn't sure what you would wring out of it, but this is beyond my wildest expextations, and it's glorious! Actually, you fooled me there as well, not just Thor; I wouldn't have been surprised in the least if it really HAD been Loki himself - I've never taken him to be someone who would mind spectators. ;)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go and do some more maniacal cackling over Thor's reaction - if you could've seen the grin on my face this morning, I tell ya. :D
Love it! <3
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