Title: Lack of Perfection
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lizardbeth_j
BSG, Helo/Sharon
Again, for the [livejournal.com profile] stagesoflove challenge of "Exploring a Relationship with the Five Senses"; Prompt 3: Touch
Rating: R (adult situations)
Word Count: 520
Summary: Sharon is more and less than she was before.

A/N: I know what I tried to do with this one, I'm just not sure that it actually happened. The part I originally was going to use didn't work here, so I kinda ran out of time.

Previous parts are here:
Part 1: The Empty Glass
Part 2: The Buzzing of Bees



Sometimes Sharon dreads Helo's visit. Sometimes when she sees him, all she can remember is that moment of joy when the three of them were a family. The touch of her baby's hand was the most perfect moment Sharon has ever known. The knowledge that the moment is lost forever remains unbearable.

Despite the loss, she usually anticipates his arrival eagerly. But whenever he's not with her, she worries. It's only a matter of time before the Cylons find the Fleet, and Helo's on the front lines on CAP. He's all she has left, and she wants to cling to him and keep him safe. She wishes she could ask him to stop flying, but she knows about duty.

The echo of memory comes back to her:

Three ordered, "It is believed that Eight and Ten may be viable. You have been selected for this procreative coupling."

Eight gave the only possible answer, "By your command."


At first, she and Helo use the phone to talk, but discover that if they both sit on the floor, shoulder to shoulder, the inch of clear composite can carry their conversation just fine.

It is not quite touching, but since Adama refuses to open the door, it's as close as they can get. She rests her head against the wall, next to his, and closes her eyes. She tries to content herself with memories of Caprica, and sometimes it's almost enough.

There were leaves in her hair, and dirt-roughened fingers on her skin. His lips were dry. He was too tall. His hands were clumsy in his haste.

The bed was soft and comfortable. Eight waited there, until Ten came through the door. He was naked, just as she was. She watched him approach, willing to do her duty, but inside, she felt nothing.

She never expected to feel anything. It was an assignment, nothing more. But his touch was exciting. His kiss made her heart rate flutter dangerously fast.

Helo will never understand why she loves him. His human imperfection, his passion, his weaknesses are precious to her -- Cylons don't have them. They do everything perfectly.

Ten touched her proficiently. Her body responded as it should, accepting him within her easily. When he finished, he stood by the edge of the bed. Three and Six joined him and looked down at her.

Eight felt nothing different in her body and reported: "The attempt failed." Ten didn't even look back as he left.

She wondered if the experience always felt so empty for the humans, too.


In that moment, when Helo's touch surrounded her and she felt as though the whole universe could burn as long as he didn't stop, she knew she was lost. She found something new with him. In reaching for completion with him, she stepped off the shallow path of duty into an unknown, uncertain solitude.

After the touch of his cheek against her hair in affectionate caress, she can never go back to the way she was. The remembered feel of his arms around her holds her safe, even when she knows what an illusion it is.

Once she was one of many, and now she is apart from everyone, even Helo. But at least they are no different, each on one side of the wall. Alone.

to Part 4: A Path in the Forest


From: [identity profile] repr0b8.livejournal.com


Friended you as well. :D

I'll be writing H/S for a long time...even if the show takes a turn I hate (again), I'm still in love with these characters. And I have to say I *really* enjoy the way you write them. I'm kinda picky on my helo/sharon characterization, and you've got it nailed. :)
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