Fic: What You're Falling On 1/1 (BSG)

[lizardbeth]

What You're Falling On
by lizardbeth_j
Pairing: Helo/Sharon, Helo/Starbuck
Rating: R
Summary: When your world falls apart, solace comes in many guises. (Rapture AU)

notes:Written for grammarwoman in the Shagathon. Helo apparently has "property of Athena" stamped on his ass, and he didn't want to cooperate as much as you might have liked. Sorry about that! Many thanks to sabaceanbabe for all the help!



The outer door opened and Helo glanced over. Seeing Kara coming in, he turned his gaze back to the ceiling. The thought struck that he was mirroring what Sharon had done to him, when she'd been consumed by her grief and rage over Hera.

It felt fitting that he should do it for her, now.

Kara moved up to the bars and heaved an annoyed breath. "You are a stupid bastard, aren't you?" He tried to let her mocking words flow over him, but instead they were burrs, clinging and poking at raw skin. "Getting thrown in hack? Attacking Roslin?"

He folded his hands beneath his head and wanted to ignore her. But his own words were there, on the tip of his tongue, and whatever restraint he'd had was gone. So he retorted, coldly, "Yeah. It's usually your job, but you were too busy frakking Apollo, I guess."

There was a brief silence, but he didn't look to see if it hurt her or not. He didn't really care.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that," she said, taking a breath. "Look, I'm sorry Sharon didn't make it back. But the way the Cylons seem to find us whenever the frak they want, there's still a chance --"

He cut her off, not wanting any empty words, or empty promises. "She couldn't get away," he said, trying to be controlled, but with an edge of… condescension, that Kara just wasn't getting it. She didn't know everything. In fact, she didn't really know anything. "That means they caught her. She's a traitor to them, and there's only one thing they do to traitors. They box them. Do you know what that is? The Cylons take all the memories, the thoughts, everything that makes Sharon Sharon and they put them on a memory card. Then they throw the card down a well. That's how they kill the ones they don't want anymore."

"You don't know that's what happened," Kara protested. "Maybe she just couldn't find a ship to get off the basestar. Maybe she woke up in the wrong place. You can't give up hope, Karl. Not so soon. Believe me, I know --"

He laughed once. "You do, huh? So why are you hell bent on throwing it away?"

Her lips tightened, holding back angry words. "This isn't about me."

He had to agree with that. "No, it's not."

"I know you're angry --"

He squeezed his eyes shut and his hands balled into fists as hot tension curled through him, and he stiffened, trying to keep still, keep it down. "You don't know anything," he bit out. "You think you know. But you don't. I killed her. I watched her die. Made sure she died. And if she doesn't come back --"

He stopped, unable to finish. But he was going to have to hear the sound of that gun and the feel of her blood on his hands forever.

"She'll come back."

"Go away."

A hostile silence fell. Kara groaned and hit the bars with her fists. "Just apologize to Roslin. Then you can get out of here."

"When she apologizes for stealing my daughter and for telling me Sharon was a spy. Until then she can go frak herself. And tell her I don't appreciate her using you for her dirty work either."

"I'm not --" Kara started and then gave up. "You know what? Never mind. Maybe you'll be in a better mood later."

He almost told her not to hold her breath, but she slammed her way out of the brig before he spoke.

Maybe she was right -- maybe Sharon was trapped on the basestar with Hera. Maybe she couldn't get away.

But maybe she hadn't downloaded at all. Maybe Hera was dead and Sharon had decided to airlock herself. Maybe all the other Eights had brainwashed her back into line.

Maybe, maybe, maybe. He didn't know.

All he knew was that Sharon would have done everything in her power to come back, no matter what foul thing Roslin believed.

Watching the basestars jump away with Sharon had ripped out his heart, and until and unless she found a way back to him with Hera, he figured he didn't need it for anything.

---+---

When Helo realized it wasn't Kara back to taunt him, that instead it was the Admiral standing there beside a marine who was opening the door to Helo's cell, he scrambled off the bed to stand at attention.

Adama regarded him for a long moment. Helo felt his own heart beating and didn't dare to speak.

"You and Sharon took a risk," Adama said. "And while I wish you had spoken to me about it, I can understand why you chose not to. But that risk didn't pay off."

Helo bit back a bitter laugh at the understatement and answered simply, "No, sir."

Adama went on. "Finding out she'd taken Hera behind my back angered me; I can only imagine what you felt. Then to say what she said on top of that, I can also understand why you lashed out. It would be hard to look past it. But I need you to, Helo. I need you to look past what's been said and done and do your duty. If you can promise me you can do that, this door is open."

Dark blue eyes met his, piercing down deeper than Helo really wanted them to see. And that let him release the anger, just a little. "I won't apologize to her, Admiral. I won't forgive her."

"I'm not asking that. Just leave her alone. Can you do that?"

He nodded, jaw clenching around the bitter taste of betrayal. "If she leaves me alone, yes, sir."

"And that means no stunts to try to rescue Sharon yourself, Captain. If she can get away, then fine, I'll welcome her back. And hopefully Hera as well. But I can't and won't risk any more of the Fleet for her, and that includes you."

He and Sharon had already considered the viability of him helping her rescue Hera. Trying to get to her alone would be even more futile. As much as it hurt to say it, he could answer honestly, "Yes, sir."

"Then you're restored to duty, Captain. I think, to get you out of the president's sight for awhile, you'll take over for Lieutenant Dualla with the Sagittaron refugees."

"Dogsville, sir?" he asked, blurting the slang before he thought about it, then winced when Adama leveled a stare at him. "The starboard hangar deck," he amended.

"Some of the refugees are getting restless," the Admiral said. "I'd think as someone in a very similar position, you would understand them."

Helo had never had much patience for the more freakishly religious of the Sagittaron sects, but he had to admit, being married to a Cylon put them at something of the same level.

He acknowledged his new duty without much enthusiasm, but the admiral pretended not to notice. "Very well. Also, I'm telling Apollo that you're still on rotation for CAP," Adama added, before moving to the door. "Get cleaned up and report to the starboard hangar deck."

Adama left, and Helo moved to follow, but his feet dragged to a stop before he reached the opening. He glanced back at the cot, but of course Sharon wasn't there. She had never been there -- this wasn't her cell.

Yet he felt strangely reluctant to leave, like he was letting her down by resuming his duty. Which was silly, since she understood duty better than most Colonial officers.

"Sir?" one of the young marines prompted.

Helo took a breath, told himself to stop being stupid, and walked through the door.

---+---

Kara was waiting for him, leaning against the bulkhead beside the hatch to his quarters.

"I see the Old Man sprung you," she said, not moving from her insolent pose.

"Astute as ever, Starbuck."

"Frak you," she retorted.

This time he managed to tighten his jaw around the nasty words that bubbled up. Gods, he had to calm the frak down.

When he didn't say anything she went on, "Thought you might want someone around when you got here."

It was only when his hand touched the wheel that he realized he didn't know if anyone had cleaned up the room. What if her blood was still on the wall and the floor?

Kara was suddenly beside him, her shoulder brushing his arm, and she turned the wheel. "Gods, gotta do everything for you." But when the door opened, her hand touched his briefly.

He clung to the thought like a lifeline that she wouldn't tell him to go in, if that was all still there, but his legs felt wobbly as he went into the room.

It was clean, with no trace of what had happened, of what he'd done. The cabin smelled of antiseptic, and while he was glad it didn't smell of blood, it also made the cabin smell empty. As though Sharon had been erased already.

He found one of her hair ties on the desk and clutched it in one hand, tangible proof that she'd been there.

"I suppose I should probably vacate this," he said, proud of how calm his voice was. "It's kind of big for just me."

Kara said, "XO gets his own cabin."

"I'm not XO. I'm a desk jockey watching over Dogsville."

"Today," she snorted. "Not for long, I bet. Tigh's still a drunk." But she stopped abruptly, her gaze flickered, and then she flashed a grin, trying to lighten things up. "Just like always."

A drunk mourning his wife, Helo filled in the unspoken thought silently. And yeah, that gave him something in common with the colonel, not that Tigh would ever see it that way.

"She's not dead," Kara murmured. "It's really frakkin' weird that I'm trying to make you feel better by telling you this, but Sharon's a Cylon. She resurrected. And she'll be doing her damnedest to get back to you. It just might … take awhile."

He closed his eyes, willing himself not to turn around. Kara meant well, but she just didn't understand. He murmured, "It's not just Sharon. Boomer said Hera was very sick. That she could die. I don't know if Sharon could go through that again." He paused and added very softly, slipping the elastic band over his hand so it wrapped his wrist in a snug reminder. "I don't know if I can."

"Oh." That seemed to shut her up for a moment, but not long enough. "I hadn't heard that."

"I know. You've been so… busy," he said, with just enough mockery she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"What is this sudden obsession with my frakking around?" she demanded, arms folded with a glare.

"I thought better of you."

"Yeah, well if you knew--" she began heatedly then snapped her mouth shut, turning away, but not before he didn't see the hurt flare in her face. He felt briefly sorry for pushing her so hard, and sighed.

"Just make a frakking choice. You're being selfish." He usually tried to make his advice to her go down a bit more easily, but he was all out of patience. "I know you're still dealing with stuff, and that's too bad, but you know, life out here isn't exactly a vacation for anybody. Wait too long and you'll lose them both."

She turned back, face set and eyes glittering dangerously. "You think I'm taking advice from you?"

"Gods know you need it from somebody."

"You married a toaster," she sneered. "She's finally dumped your sorry ass and went back to her kind. And she's not coming back, because she got what she wanted all along."

One small distant part of him knew she was just trying to hurt him back, but the rest of him filled with the same rage that had gotten Roslin shoved into a wall. He took two steps toward Kara.

"You gonna hit me, Karl?" she asked, face lifted to his, taunting, not backing off an inch. "Go ahead."

He quivered, his fists clenched spasmodically at his sides, and he longed to lash out at her. Every muscle in his body wanted to punch her right in the face.

But he wasn't like that, he wasn't. He wasn't going to do it, no matter how angry he was.

How much he wanted --

She reached out and for one confused instant he thought she was hitting him, and he stood there and let her.

But she grabbed his neck and pulled him down, and he realized one instant too late what she was doing, as his mouth landed on hers.

He yanked free. "Kara!" And he took a step back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His heart was thumping too quickly, shocked by the kiss.

She smirked at him. "See what a human can do?"

He didn't think, but suddenly his body was moving, and he grabbed her shoulders and yanked her into him. He leaned down - and she must have gone up on her toes, because it wasn't as far as he remembered - and their mouths locked, and there were teeth mixed in, scraping his lips. One hand held the back of her head, so she couldn't pull away, not that she seemed to want to - as both of her hands groped his hips and ass.

Her touch and the feel of her body were familiar - it wasn't Sharon, but it was familiar and he needed that more than he needed to breathe right now. And there was something equally needy in her hands, sliding under his tanks and hot on his skin, and how she kissed as if trying to bury herself.

His free hand slid up her waist to take a handful of her breast and when he felt her nipple harden under the stroke of his thumb, he felt himself tighten with want. He pushed against her, losing his breath as her hand slipped in his pants.

He squeezed his eyes shut, letting the sensation of her hand sliding on him fill him, and he groaned her name.

"Sharon…"

He realized what he'd said, when Kara shoved herself free. His eyes popped open, in time to see her stumble backward in her haste. He reached out to try to catch her, but missed, as she fell against the side table.

She swore and straightened slowly, rubbing at her hip. They didn't say anything as the moment collapsed on them.

He sank into the bed and stared dully across the room, not looking at her. "Sorry. I can't. Maybe you can, but I can't."

She moved across his line of sight and came to sit next to him on the bed, within touching distance, but with space between them. Silence lingered, and Helo couldn't break it, running the last few minutes over and over again in his mind, trying to figure out why he'd done it.

"I have these dreams," she murmured. "They're not Sam, they're not Lee. It's that frakkin' toaster. Leoben." His gaze flicked to her in surprise that she was finally talking about it. He held very still and kept silent, hoping she would keep going.

After a moment, she continued in an even lower voice. "In the dream, I always want it. It's awful. I call Sam or find Lee because they make him go away."

"Did Leoben --" he started, but couldn't find a way to finish.

She shook her head, strands of blonde hair falling into her face and hiding her eyes. "No. He kissed me, that's all. I killed him a dozen times, every time he got too close. But he kept coming back, and he kept lying. I knew it, but I started to believe him anyway. He told me Sam was dead, and he pushed a little girl down the stairs. What kind of frak up am I to keep dreaming of frakking him?"

It just about killed him to see her hug her knees, curled up in a defensive ball and so frightened of her dreams she was blindly grabbing all the solace she could. But he was just as scared of his waking nightmares of Sharon's possible fates, wasn't he?

He patted her knee. "You're not a frak-up. Or at least no more than I am."

"That's encouraging," she muttered.

"Shut up, Kara." He slung his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in close, and she let him, resting her head against him.

She mumbled, "She'll find a way home to you with your girl. Just hold on."

His arm tightened around her. "I am." He kissed her hair and closed his eyes.

A small voice inside, the voice of rekindled hope, said that maybe Kara was right. Another day. Another week.

Forever.

He could wait.

Comments

[raincitygirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, puddle of sappy goo here. Not just an excellent Helo story, but an awesome Starbuck story too.

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

thanks! :D

Starbuck, as always, refuses to play Supporting Character.

[mrsdrjackson.livejournal.com]

Sappy-gooey fic of awww, I love it! So touching, so very Kara & Karl, you write their banter well.

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

thanks muchly!

*mezmerized by your icon...* Yum.

[mrsdrjackson.livejournal.com]

:D

Isn't it shiny? dragonlady981 is SO wicked talented!

[cynthia-arrow.livejournal.com]

I love the relationship between Helo and Kara, especially in fic where it's really fleshed out like this. This was excellent, just the right mix of pessimism and optimism, in the both of them and in their interactions. I didn't expect Kara to bring up Leoben here, so it's startling, but in a good way, and it's believable. I like how honest these two can be with each other, even when it turns nasty, but especially when it's sincere and comforting like it is there at the end.

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

They're both so frakked up by their Cylons. (ahem. ONE of her Cylons - sometimes I still forget). And someone had to be the first to find out what happened to her, and it just seemed like the right moment for her to break it open. Like maybe trying to frak Helo let her see what she was doing, where words weren't working.

Anyhoo, Thanks!

(and now off to my Slashathon fic. WHEEE!)

[grammarwoman]

Helo apparently has "property of Athena" stamped on his ass, and he didn't want to cooperate as much as you might have liked.

Oh, believe me, I understand. For such an affable guy, he can be really stubborn. *grin*

Thanks for this. I enjoyed their parallels, that they're both haunted by their encounters with Cylons, events out of their control. It's refreshing to see sides of them that we don't normally see: Helo's rage, Starbuck's vulnerability. Plus, the rationale for putting him in charge of Dogsville made a lot of sense.

Your efforts here are appreciated.

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

Phew, I'm glad the lack of prOn turned out okay with you. I tried, *really hard*, to get them to go farther. But Helo just... wouldn't. *g*

thanks!

[anonymous_sibyl]

He patted her knee. "You're not a frak-up. Or at least no more than I am."
"That's encouraging," she muttered.

Aw. That's such a perfect summary of Helo and Kara. I like, very much.

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

hee. They are both frak-ups in their own adorable way, aren't they?

thanks!

[havocthecat]

You have such a good voice for these characters!

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Kara's not too hard, especially when she's being kinda mean and mocking. Helo, for all that I love him to itty bitty pieces, is much harder. So that's nice to hear!

[mamaboolj.livejournal.com]

Oh man. Tugging at the heartstrings in all the good and bad ways right before my bedtime. Great story.

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

yay! glad you liked it!

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Aaaawwwww!! Obviously, Kara, Lee, Sam, Dee and Helo need to mount a rescue mission.

(how funny that neither of us could escape Kara/Anders. Those sluts.)

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

Rescue mission!

It was more Sharon I couldn't escape. :/

But Kara certainly was pushy (like always).

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Yes. Rescue mission. And then sex.

Sharon was hard for all of us, I think. Or Helo was. Sigh. And Kara is always pushy.

Also, I point down, and say, "What they said, too." Because I am slightly more awake now. Slightly.

Also, how could you box Sharon? Hmph.

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

how could I (as in me?) box Sharon in this fic? or more hypothetically?

Because she's not. Or at least we don't know if she is, but I figure not.

But there's certainly a space for an AU of it. If Caprica hadn't set up Sharon's resurrection, Sharon very possibly could've fallen foul of the others and gotten boxed.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Possibly because I'd box Sharon. Now, it seems as though you can un-box Cylons, so I'd never make it permanent (well. it's my brain, who knows).

Which brings up the question of: did Caprica know or guess Athena's plan ahead of time? She was obviously already headed that way.

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

I figure Caprica knew that Boomer had just been to Galactica and intended to tell Sharon about Hera. She (meaning Caprica) is highly interested in Hera, after all. And she just guessed that the first Eight to download would be Sharon and set it up to be the only one there. She wanted Hera rescued and taken back to the RTF. I only wonder whether she planned all along to go back with Sharon and Hera, or started out just wanting to help them escape (until she killed Boomer and then HAD to leave).

[sabaceanbabe.livejournal.com]

As I read through this lovely, ouchy fic again, these are the things that stand out:

*-I love the idea that Sharon told Helo all about boxing, 'cause you know she didn't tell anyone else all about it. She may have given the idea of it to Adama, but not everything, not the parts of it that would be frightening to her.

*-Nothing else I've read has addressed the fact that Helo had to make sure she did die when he shot her, because otherwise the plan had no chance whatsoever of working. How strong does love for and trust of another person have to be for the person doing the loving and trusting to take that kind of leap of faith? *shiver*

*-I love that this is the anti-Helo, and very believably so, because his heart has been ripped out and he doesn't care anymore.

*-I love the way that Roslin's name is never mentioned once in the scene between Helo and Adama, but Hera's and Sharon's are.

*-It was only when his hand touched the wheel that he realized he didn't know if anyone had cleaned up the room. What if her blood was still on the wall and the floor?

Kara was suddenly beside him, her shoulder brushing his arm, and she turned the wheel. "Gods, gotta do everything for you." But when the door opened, her hand touched his briefly.

That is just perfect. Just as Kara was there for him in Flight of the Phoenix, when he was a pariah, she's here for him, when he truly needs that support. And she gives it to him in typical acerbic fasion. Hee.

*-"I have these dreams," she murmured. "They're not Sam, they're not Lee. It's that frakkin' toaster. Leoben." His gaze flicked to her in surprise that she was finally talking about it. He held very still and kept silent, hoping she would keep going.

After a moment, she continued in an even lower voice. "In the dream, I always want it. It's awful. I call Sam or find Lee because they make him go away."

But this^^. This killed me. When I said you needed to go just a little further with it, I had no idea what kind of a punch in the gut it would be. Just those few words, tiny little things, really, but... *guh*

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And thanks so much for your editing, it made it much better than it was!

Definitely WORD about shooting her. It's horrifying to think about what he did and really, how lucky he was that she came back to Galactica in time. Because as bad as it was to kill her, it would be infinitely worse for the plan to FAIL.

I'm not sure that canon Sharon would have told Helo about boxing either. It's hard to imagine a situation where it would come up. "oh by the way, honey...." *snerk*

Ever since we found out about Kara's dreams it seemed likely to me that Booty Call with Sam and making out with Lee, could be to wash the dream out of her head. And if Sam had any inkling about it at all, that explains even more why he would try to help her and take her mean behavior.

[sabaceanbabe.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure that canon Sharon would have told Helo about boxing either. It's hard to imagine a situation where it would come up.

Actually, I could see it coming up pretty easily during discussion of the plan. So maybe Adama wouldn't know about it at all, as there'd be no reason for Sharon to tell him about it, but, well, yeah. That's all I've got. :P

And if Sam had any inkling about it at all, that explains even more why he would try to help her and take her mean behavior.

But Sam's very selfish, you know... ;)

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

I was thinking it might have come up before re: Boomer perhaps, or if they ever talked about what might happen to her if the Cylons captured her for her changing sides. But when she's trying to persuade him her plan is the only way, and she's SO desperate to get to Hera before her chance slips away -- would she really tell him of that possibility, knowing it would make it that much harder for him to agree?

-

oh yes, I forgot. He's a selfish, arrogant, dumb jock. And bland too. *rolls eyes*

[frolicndetour.livejournal.com]

Oh, ouch. This is so painful and true to both characters - which is hard to do in any sort of Helo/not!Sharon piece after The Farm, anyway. Great idea to explore the possibility of Sharon not coming back - the enormity of the risk they took really hits home here. And of course, the grief combined with guilt would be enough to drive Helo absolutely crazy.

I'm a tiny bit conflicted about the Helo/Adama scene, just because I personally think that Adama would have been harder on Helo there. I see him as being a bit more sympathetic to Roslin's side than you have him, and I tend to think that the enormity of a military officer striking the President + Adama's feelings for Roslin + the fact that she's a much smaller, much older civilian would have prompted more of a Dirty Hands style response. OTOH, I don't think Helo as you've very convincingly portrayed him here would have responded well to that, and perhaps Adama realized that and was restraining himself accordingly. He's pretty savvy in dealing with people who aren't Lee. :) / thoughts on yaoi.

I really, really like the Kara/Helo back-and-forth. You really capture the way these characters actually speak which is so hard to do. Helo's misdirected anger is so very convincing and understandable, as is Kara's response. And I have to echo the love for this line: Kara was suddenly beside him, her shoulder brushing his arm, and she turned the wheel. "Gods, gotta do everything for you." But when the door opened, her hand touched his briefly. That's just so in character it made me squee. :)

Her touch and the feel of her body were familiar - it wasn't Sharon, but it was familiar and he needed that more than he needed to breathe right now. And there was something equally needy in her hands, sliding under his tanks and hot on his skin, and how she kissed as if trying to bury herself.

What a perfect description of what's going on with both characters. I'm always so impressed when people manage to capture complex emotional dynamics in just a couple of sentences like this. I also love how it breaks off - it seems like in realizing what Helo's doing Kara also realizes what she's doing with him. And that that would prompt her confession of sorts about Leoben works very well.

After a moment, she continued in an even lower voice. "In the dream, I always want it. It's awful. I call Sam or find Lee because they make him go away."

*wince*

I love the ending too - so poignant, yet hopeful. *impressed*

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

thanks! :D

That's a totally fair read on Adama and Helo. I guess my thinking there is that Adama understands the totality of Helo's issues with Roslin, because he shares them, if to a lesser degree. First, he knows in a way that Roslin does not how it feels to have a child die. He also knows how crushed Sharon was, and probably quite a lot of how Helo felt as well, since they were all rattling around on the ship together in the missing year. Professionally, he was pissed that she hid the truth from him, plus he trusts Sharon. So Roslin's distrust of her, while perhaps wise in some ways, is also a bit of a slap on his own judgment as well. I guess what I'm saying is that I think Helo would get something of a pass. Adama 'adopts' a lot of people, and Helo's obviously one of them. Maybe he sees a lot of himself in Helo.

I also envisioned the shove as a second confrontation between Helo and Roslin, after the escape from Algae planet when Sharon doesn't come back. A second taunt about how Sharon was a spy. But that wasn't clear at all.

er, Probably a bit more than you wanted to know about what I was thinking about, but... there you go!

glad you liked it!

[frolicndetour.livejournal.com]

I'm supposed to be writing something myself but I keep checking my inbox every three minutes. *sheepish*

I also envisioned the shove as a second confrontation between Helo and Roslin, after the escape from Algae planet when Sharon doesn't come back. A second taunt about how Sharon was a spy. But that wasn't clear at all.

ohhhhh. Yeah, you know, that was probably totally clear in your fic but it just didn't make it into my addled brain. Because you also made it clear that he shoved her into a wall and I was imagining it more like a roundhouse punch. I also don't feel like I have the best grip on Adama after season three... his characterization felt so all-over-the-place to me that I tend to never give him the benefit of a doubt, so I just assumed that he was pissed because Roslin lied to him more than anything else, since at the time he was ready to kill Hera. But he and Sharon and Helo have come a long way since then. So... forget I said anything. *g*

Anyway, I can't stress enough how much I enjoyed this! It's definitely my favorite Shagathon piece and possibly my favorite Kara/Helo piece ever. I'm such a sucker for well-written Kara. :D

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

No, you were confused, because I did something stupid. Kara was wrong. She says "hit", but she doesn't really know. But she's the first to give backstory it sticks in the reader's memory. But Helo does shove Roslin (very forcefully, mind you) into the wall.

awww, you're so nice! Thank you! *smooches you*

[weissman.livejournal.com]

That was excellent and I am happy it didn't happen that way. I think whatever it took, even if Sharon had to move the Galaxy itself, Sharon would have come back.

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

oh yes, I'm glad it didn't happen that way, too.

Thanks!

[rebelliousrose.livejournal.com]

Wow! This one's the Deep Discussion ShagAthon fic (like two of us have managed actual porn this year, and everyone else is writing honest-to-gods Battlestar Galactica); I think that Adama wouldn't be all that hard on Helo- remember when Helo first shot Athena and confronted Roslin, and Adama never looked at Roslin, not once? Back totally to her, and disapproval radiating from every line of him?

I think you've captured this so very well. This is one of my top three fics for this year. Helo is right to be angry, deserves to be angry, and he's been stoic so long.

Great, great work- thought provoking.

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

It was definitely an interesting AU to contemplate. Highly possible as well, I thought - since the two sides were at the Algae Planet such a limited time, the fleets could have separated earlier and left Sharon stranded. Had Caprica not planned and helped Sharon's resurrection, I don't think Sharon would have made it.

I think you were the one commenting about the need for an AU Shagathon fic. First thing I thought was YES! My next thought was Girl!Helo. Apparently my little Sharon/Helo shipper brain can only deal with it by genderbending Helo! lol

[rebelliousrose.livejournal.com]

Yep, that was me with the AU fic thing. (Only way some of us are going to get Helo laid this year...)

How about a Sharon/Helo/Caprica Six one? There's enough Helo to go around....someone slashed him with Roslin once and it was positively unnerving.

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

*blinks* Helo and Roslin?????? I hope this was some Bizarro AU....

oh yes, OT3 with the two and Caprica, I could see that working. Caprica and Sharon are connected and we know Caprica's ALREADY been part of a threesome. Plus, the pretty! *g*

[agathons-fan.livejournal.com]

Ok, so for whatever reason, unknown to me, I am just finding this fic and it is awesome! Very interesting version of Rapture. Things couldve so easily gone that way. So glad they didnt.

I absolutely loved it. So much angst! Although I can't really see Helo and Kara getting together, (which is biased cause Im all Helo/sharon) the rest is so true to Helo; Poor Helo, makes me want to give him a big hug (even though I want to do that most of the time anyway). Love the smarky remarks between Helo and Kara. Funny and totally true for Kara and I can see a dark!Helo.

Lol. I totally wished he actually wouldve taken the swing at Roslin in Rapture, Im glad he did here. So.....when can we expect Sharons return? *nudges* Lol. :D

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

hey you! Thanks! glad you found it! ;)

and yeah, it's amazing how CLOSE to this it came. If the Cylons had jumped just a little earlier, Sharon would've been trapped on the baseship. Not that she'd let that stop her for long, I'm sure!