Perplexing conundrums

[lizardbeth]

I do not understand this thing about people leaving their icons out for only a couple of days and then flocking them. WTF is that all about? It SEEMS like a naked, ego-centric attempt at increasing one's 'friend of' list. *rolls eyes* LAAAAAME

I was planning to try a vid for the twelvecolonies challenge, but I still don't know which song I'd pick. I have a few I'd like to attempt, but the best one is too short, and the rest are all long. GAH. Bah, not that I can finish by Monday anyway - weekends are always impossible.

We heard the sonic boom of the shuttle landing earlier yesterday. That's always cool. (my window to post has been open two days, gah)

Today we went to the farmer's market and they had four different kinds of eggplant including the most adorable tiny ones. This afternoon we're off to meet friends and go gallery hopping. I need more coffee before art, I think.

Comments

[lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com]

I think not beginning with dialogue would help, for one thing. It's jarring. And giving it a stronger pov. Because right now it's very... shallow, I guess is the word I would use. I understand you're going for omniscient but one of the reasons it doesn't get used much in fanfic, is that it tends to keep the reader distant, because the narrator is more present (or it gets annoying, with 'head-hopping' and people tend to hate that). Fanfic's great strength is to give us an idea of how the characters are feeling and thinking.

[noybusiness.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the advice on POV. Roslin in one scene, Sam in a later scene, and so on, should strengthen it. With clear scene demarkations and introductory sentences to avoid confusion on whose POV it is in each scene.

I'm not sure what would make a better opening in your opinion. 'Cause opening with a description: "the crowd of them were standing in Baseship Control" sounds weak, and unnecessary. What about someone's thoughts? Personally, as a reader, I don't find openings with dialogue jarring.

On further thought, given I'm opening with Roslin POV, I should start with a sentence of "Roslin(said/thought/stood/looked/whatever".